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Hi there! I'm Alex. 18 years old. Little bit awkward. Multifandom (but mostly Sherlock & Tolkien). Enjoy dears

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ledamemangociana:

wrinklefucker:

godtie:

fun fact: if a persons body odor smells good to you that means they have an immune system basically opposite of yours! this happens so the chances of finding a mate with the opposite immune system is greater and the chances that any offspring you produce together will have a stronger immune system is greater.

this is fascinating

so soulmates but with scents

smellmates

guy:

one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald

(Source: guy)

twinkle-twinkle-little-fuck:

group projects when no one knows what they’re doing

image

bisexualsaregreat:

aaawunder:

whenever someone says “bi means two so *biphobe noises*.” i like to imagine them biting into a jellyfish and being remarkably surprised to find they are neither made of jelly nor fish

This is the best thing I’ve read all day.

If The Hobbit were an MMO

* Bilbo has joined the party *
Thorin: lol
Thorin: hobbit
Fili: xD
Kili: XDDDD
Bilbo: :/
Gandalf: a THIEF hobbit
Gandalf: he'll be useful
Gandalf: promise.
Thorin: He better be. Bilbo, build?
Bilbo: Build what?
Thorin: ...what's your build.
Bilbo: OH. Er...I don't think I have one.
Thorin: Stats?
Bilbo: Haven't assigned any.
Bilbo: I usually just RP in town.
* Bilbo has been kicked from party *
Gandalf: Thorin wtf
* Bilbo has joined the party *
Bilbo: @_@
Thorin: Is he level 20 or something whotf doesn't have a build
Bilbo: EXCUSE YOU. I'm level 80!
Thorin: What skills did you get?
Bilbo: I'm not telling you that, you'll just mock all of them.
Thorin: Gandalf I'm not bringing an untested thief along.
Thorin: He'll die.
Thorin: Several times.
Thorin: IDG why I even have to, we're pretty much set.
Gandalf: Yeah, 13 warrior-class idiots versus a level 500 dragon boss.
Gandalf: That'll scare him.
Gandalf: Look, his skillset's ideal and you have an extra party slot.
Gandalf: Just bring him along. What's the harm?
Dwalin: he's not even geared
Thorin: ...what?
Dwalin: look at his armor
Thorin: Oh god.
Fili: lmao that's like starter gear
Kili: XDDDDDDDDD
Bofur: HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!
... later ...
* A Stone Giant damaged Bilbo for 18,028 HP *
Thorin: jfc
* Thorin applies bandages to Bilbo's wounds *
* Thorin applies bandages to Bilbo's wounds *
* Thorin applies bandages to Bilbo's wounds *
* Bilbo has recovered his health *
* Bilbo has been kicked from party *
Gandalf: THORIN I SWEAR TO GOD
* Bilbo has joined the party *
Gandalf: IF YOU KICK HIM ONE MORE TIME I'M LOGGING OFF

nonchalantcroissant:

AU prompt: Person A is thinking sexually graphic or generally odd thoughts and suddenly panics and thinks “If you’re a mind reader, cough right now.”

Person B coughs.